can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
