it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
