I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
In other news, I just burned my penis
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
