Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
