That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
