You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Someone came in the potted fern
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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