Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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