I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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