I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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