the new term for farting is butt boxing.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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