1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
