You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
