well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
