I am puke
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
