Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
