Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
