I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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