took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
