how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
