i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
40s are totally the cure
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
