I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Holy sore nipples Batman
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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