I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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