All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
