I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wish they made helmets for livers.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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