I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
