I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
