i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
