i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
