its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
