Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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