Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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