Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize