plz talk dirty to me
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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