Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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