A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
