we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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