Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
