yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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