Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Umm I'm too high to move.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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