do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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