what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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