You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
