I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
