Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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