i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
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I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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