The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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