and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
