I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
