If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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