We won't sleep together?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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