Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I want a musical about memes.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
