roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Randomize
