Do you still have your period?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
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i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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