Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
