im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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