Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
