If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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