how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i barfeds in our rink
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
