google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
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She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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