so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
