I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
