dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
