my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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